Comments on: What to say you do, when you don’t… http://thoughtpaths.com/archives/168 ThoughtPaths with Ken Wilson et al Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:10:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.7 by: kwilson http://thoughtpaths.com/archives/168#comment-103 Tue, 15 May 2007 19:45:31 +0000 http://thoughtpaths.com/archives/168#comment-103 I think that your approach is great, but it is uncommon. Just as a sociological exercise, the next time you are introduced to someone (or even better if you can observe a few exchanges of that sort quietly from the sidelines), watch what they say and how they react - verbal, body language, etc. It <em>seldom</em> gets past the person's vocation or lack thereof before you see a clear reaction. The immediate placement of them in a pigeon hole is often quite clear in the ensuing conversation (or lack thereof). It is also interesting to see if the scenario changes perceptibly when they mention other interests. The change is often only marginal, implying that the classification has not changed. I think that your approach is great, but it is uncommon. Just as a sociological exercise, the next time you are introduced to someone (or even better if you can observe a few exchanges of that sort quietly from the sidelines), watch what they say and how they react - verbal, body language, etc. It seldom gets past the person’s vocation or lack thereof before you see a clear reaction. The immediate placement of them in a pigeon hole is often quite clear in the ensuing conversation (or lack thereof). It is also interesting to see if the scenario changes perceptibly when they mention other interests. The change is often only marginal, implying that the classification has not changed.

]]> by: Andrew http://thoughtpaths.com/archives/168#comment-102 Tue, 15 May 2007 17:06:29 +0000 http://thoughtpaths.com/archives/168#comment-102 When being introduced to people and when the question is asked "And what do you do?" I've always thought of it as a way of directing conversation to an area where people are usually somewhat comfortable rather than a status-seeking question. It's a topic of small-talk. I do see your point, and a couple of years ago I learned to not ask "What do you do for a living" but rather "And how do you spend your time?" This gives the person the opportunity to talk about work, if they wish, or their hobbies, passions, endeavors, etc. A variation on the question is "How do you like to spend your time?" This question does not, in anyway exclude retired people, unemployed people, stay-at-home parents, people who are not proud of their jobs, etc. It is also not a status-seeking question. The question is designed to allow you to get to know the other person, find some common ground perhaps, allow for other avenues of conversation to start, and it allows someone to talk about their favorite subject, on which they're an expert, themselves! Well, that's just my $0.02. When being introduced to people and when the question is asked “And what do you do?” I’ve always thought of it as a way of directing conversation to an area where people are usually somewhat comfortable rather than a status-seeking question. It’s a topic of small-talk.

I do see your point, and a couple of years ago I learned to not ask “What do you do for a living” but rather “And how do you spend your time?” This gives the person the opportunity to talk about work, if they wish, or their hobbies, passions, endeavors, etc. A variation on the question is “How do you like to spend your time?”

This question does not, in anyway exclude retired people, unemployed people, stay-at-home parents, people who are not proud of their jobs, etc. It is also not a status-seeking question. The question is designed to allow you to get to know the other person, find some common ground perhaps, allow for other avenues of conversation to start, and it allows someone to talk about their favorite subject, on which they’re an expert, themselves!

Well, that’s just my $0.02.

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